(Yes, there are even rules for this…)
1. Take A Moment For The Two Of You
First and foremost, this is a huge event for you and your fiancé(e). So be in the moment together!
If your engagement happened privately, your inclination might be to tell the whole world right away, but the last thing you want to do is lose your engagement night to your phones. This is your time, and even the people closest to you can wait.
It is absolutely acceptable to take hours, or even days, to savor the secret of this new level in your relationship.
What if your engagement was public?
Challenge yourselves to sneak off for at least one private, celebratory moment.
It doesn’t have to be long to be memorable, and there is nothing you both deserve more than a moment to yourselves to soak it in, fall a little more deeply in love, and just be grateful for one another.
A simple “thank you for being my best friend, and for sharing the rest of your life with me” will do.
The key is to steal at least a few minutes that you can always look back on.
Then let the cat out of the bag.
2. The People Closest To You Should Not Find Out Online.
Okay, you’ve taken time to yourselves to remember this moment. Now you want to tell everyone else.
If either of you has children, they should absolutely be the first to know.
Tell them in person, and consider whether this news should come from both of you, or only the parent. It will be different in every family, but kids need the space to react honestly. Their picture is changing too, and they may have concerns you could never have even dreamed up. Make space and time to help them adjust and get excited about the changes ahead.
Next, tell your parents. Tradition says the bride’s parents should know first, but we think it is absolutely acceptable to call the parents in any order. The important thing is that parents hear it directly from you. Not from your sibling, or your social media. If you can tell them in person, that’s great. If not, don’t fret. Just be sure you’ve blocked off some time to handle these calls. Each parent will likely want to congratulate you both and this isn’t a conversation to rush.
Siblings come next, and again, these are phone-call announcements. If you have a big family, be sure to let them know your call order so they don’t reveal your news to others before you get to!
Best friends can be told via a phone call or a text.
If you use a group message, however, make sure everyone in that group knows each other and has each other’s numbers!
Your friends will want to enliven your celebration, not hold themselves back and wonder about the order in which they were told.
3. The Do's and Don'ts of Your Online Engagement Announcement
Now that the people closest to you already know, you can take your time creating an online post. Some people opt to announce on Facebook while others create a whole website dedicated to their wedding. No matter how you go about it, there are a few things you’ll want to consider.
Ultimately, this is an announcement of the commitment you’re making to one another. It is not an advertisement of your new bling.
Therefore, it is most appropriate for your engagement post to feature a picture of the two of you rather than a #ringselfie
Get creative if you’d like. If you need a little inspiration, look to Pinterest, where you’ll find announcement ideas from classy to quirky.
Make sure the picture you choose is one that your partner is comfortable with, too. You’ll both look back on this moment and so you want to select an image that you both feel great in.
Once you have the picture, it’s time to figure out what to say.
Engagement announcements are the poster child for less is more.
A simple sentence like “We’re engaged!” or “She said yes!” will totally suffice. In general, one to three sentences are plenty to get your message across.
In this day and age, it can be hard to discern what is sacred and what is public, and while there might be an immediate thrill that comes of spilling every single detail, long-term, you will likely find that you are happy to have kept some things close.
Over-sharing can actually let some of the air out of your intimacy, while keeping a few choice secrets can make you closer over time.
Every detail of the proposal.
Every detail of how you got together. (These are the kind of stories your friends will want to hear you tell in person.)
The carat weight of your stone.
The cost of the stone.
The details (like the date and location) of your wedding.
Any details that could be embarrassing, like your private pet-names for one another.
Any details that could have been ripped from the pages of a paperback romance novel. Public posts should be celebratory, not steamy.
Be sure to choose an appropriate platform for your announcement. Facebook and Twitter are better options than LinkedIn. After all, this announcement is personal, through and through, and doesn’t really belong on a business-networking site.
4. Plan For The Deluge
As soon as your relationship status is posted online, you can expect to be bombarded with questions and congratulatory messages. Therefore, wait to post your announcement until you have some time to dedicate to all those messages.
Be sure to coordinate the announcement with your partner. You wouldn’t want one of your social spheres to find out second-hand because the other side posted too soon.
If you plan on running a newspaper announcement, post your social media announcement on the same day.
Again, the goal here is to eliminate the chance of someone hearing through word-of-mouth, rather than through one of your direct channels. When you post your big announcement, you’ll probably be surprised by how many people are excited for you. The last thing you want to do is make anyone feel like their happiness on your behalf is inconsequential to you, but that’s exactly what can happen when people feel like they didn’t have the chance to hear your big news first hand. A little coordination up front can make all the difference.
Lastly, remember that you will want to to look back on your engagement day and remember the special time you spent with your partner, not with your social media accounts.
Checking phones constantly and feeling overwhelmed or distracted from one another would be some of the worst ways you could possibly spend this special time together.
So enjoy this fleeting period when you get to call each other “fiancé(e).”
Keep some details for just the two of you. Tell your family and closest friends your news first, and when you’re both ready, share the announcement to your broader networks.
You’ll be amazed as the waves of loving messages pour in.